PNewL PNewS Volume 19 Issue 5

PNewL PNewS

Volume 19 No. 5 “All the pnews that phits.” January 2012

 

                                   What’s the matter with Christmas?

Note: I wrote this article and then screwed up and didn’t save it so I may not be as brilliant as I was in the lost version. HA. I love that excuse!

I have not been particularly good about the holidays for the last many years. After The World Tour, I vowed to leave this country from Thanksgiving to New Years whenever I could. That has never happened though I just heard about a trip to Mali next December such that I could be gone before Christmas and return after New Year’s...that’s a start...Anyway, Gini asked me what it was that I didn’t like about the holidays and so, in this my issue of lists, I decided to make a couple more.

What I like about Christmas

* Music (love love love it all—I like carols and pop, and Jugband, James Taylor and Jewel, Fred Waring and The Pennsylvanians, Kings College Choir, the Messiah. And I just bought a CD version of Calypso Christmas that was played throughout my family’s Christmases forever. ‘Course I don’t work in a retail establishment that plays Holiday music on repeat from October through December)

* My Decorations

* Date nut bread

What I don’t like about Christmas

* Shopping (Don’t do it any more but feel that I should)

* Crowds (I popped into the mall once during December to get moisturizer of all things. There were 15 people ahead of me in line. I looked around and thought, Really? You folks put up with this?)

* Traffic (Popping into the mall was a miracle, it’s usually at a dead stop on Tunnel Road for several weeks around the holidays.)

* Forced gaiety (As Ann Marie said a hundred years ago in my youth, we are supposed to be hibernating at this time of year.)

* Build up (endless)

* Being short on family during a family oriented holiday (I know we should look to our chosen “family” but it’s the thought that counts)

* Spend spend spend (endless)

* Advertising (endless)

Waking up on Christmas eve morning this year, I felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders: it felt like...Christmas and birthdays all wrapped up together! We were no longer building up to Christmas--it was HAPPENING!! FINALLY. And that meant it would be over soon.

A few days before, neighbor David said he was thinking about a bonfire on Christmas night and I thought THAT’s my idea of celebrating. As I hit the crest of my driveway I was reminded that I had the makings of a bonfire, a slash pile, in my front yard. The party happened there with an assortment of neighbors numbering around 15. It was sweet—it was different and I wasn’t dressed in nice clothes and sitting in hard chairs making small talk (memories of Christmases of my youth when I did have family!). New Year’s was more of the same and now it IS a new year. Yay!

 

Things I am Learning

& Miscellaneous Observations

• You will see later that I am still oh-so-fond of this place I landed in the wilds of Buncombe County. There is a listserv for our neighborhood and the following message appeared on it (reprinted with permission from the author). It reminded me, once again, that I got lucky.

“There is a long Southern tradition of waving to neighbors as well as oncoming traffic--if not an all-out wave, at least a raise of a couple of fingers off the steering wheel to acknowledge the other person. It is like giving a smile. If you do, you will get them in return. It is a very civilized practice that our Mommas would teach us and expect us to heed. As our busy lives have moved into a new century of cell phones and Tweets, we would do well to be reminded of our “proper upbringing.” If someone is new to the South, or to our wonderful rural setting, pick up this habit and you will feel great as people respond in kind. Everyone loves to be acknowledged.Y’all have fun now and make someone smile. John Hill”

• According to the Cooking Oil Recycling Program, over 66 gallons of used cooking oil is produced per person each year in North Carolina. First of all, that makes me want to barf. But, think of it--that's over 1 1/4 gallons a week. I tried to figure it out to the day but I got to the point that it's .181 gallon a day and there are 128 oz in a gallon and then I got confused. Am I right that's almost 3/4 quart PER DAY??? Someone is definitely helping with my share.

• When I arrived at the grocery store yesterday, after driving the six-ish miles from the house down a gravel road, then a windy road and finally a speedy road, I found my 25' Stanley Powerlock II measuring tape resting happily on the top of the trunk of my car, right where I left it. I was amused and very relieved.

* Bear loves the cold weather and prods me to go out more than normal. The other day we went out and he was running along and then suddenly lay down...in the snow...and raised his paw to me—Help! Fix this!—I think his feet were freezing. I made fun of someone who got her dog booties a while back. I am now wondering if they come in extra large!

* I’m taking a wood turning class and a blacksmithing class in the coming months. Moving from the soft crafts to the hard? We shall see. Martha gave me a book on blacksmithing and now I am a little nervous—more about things in my eyes than burns.

* I find wording on labels and signs interesting. It usually feels like it was created by committee and perhaps legal counsel. In NC, the sign in public restrooms--restaurants, grocery stores, among others--reads something like “Employees hands must be washed before returning to work.” So who, other than the employee, would be doing the washing? Santa put Buffalo Jerky in Bear’s stocking. On the tag is this note:  For the safety of your pet, observation is recommended when feeding your pet treats, bones or chews.

* I just came across an article I cut out from NRDC's ONEARTH magazine about bamboo. Apparently processing of bamboo into fiber can be really toxic, rayon-like (just when we thought we had found something sustainable...). So look for bamboo labeled "bamboo linen." That's mechanically processed. If this is old news I have only wasted a moment of your time and I have cleared yet another piece of paper off the desk.

* I got on the highway after leaving the gym a few days ago. About a mile down the road, there were cars driving towards me in my lane. It is really disorienting. I doubted that I had been right to get on the highway going the direction I was going. I wasn’t sure what to do. I slowed to a crawl—there wasn’t much traffic. Soon I came upon stopped traffic and all of the cars were turning around to come back and go down the on ramp and drive off on the surface streets. I wound up doing the same---when in Rome?—but it felt very odd and creepy. Not a cop around. There was what looked to be a rather nasty accident up the road a piece. Still...weird.

* I put three dollars in the bucket of the bell ringer at the grocery store. The ringer said "God bless you" (he had seen me looking for change just outside the door so he was prepared), but then he saw it was $3!!! He said, “God bless you--and your whole family." I almost went back and said, Do you mean that because on the Brown side alone we're at probably over 290 by now...but I didn't.

* When the computer program says, “Do you want to save your changes?” Pause, then respond. I just knee-jerked no need to I already did, only I didn’t. Boo-hoo.

Things to be thankful for

·      The beach--The combination of sand surf and sky

·      Friends

·      My family, alive and dead

·      Blue sky in winter

·      My neighbors (see friends, above)

·      Arugula that grows even after frost

·      The big dog

·      Candle light

·      Living in Weaverville

·      The library

·      Knowing so many who do such amazingly good work

·      Knowing so many who are so generous with money, time, talents

·      Sunrises sunsets

·      Pilates, yoga, etc

New Year's Resolutions

Once again I looked at last year’s list and I could keep most of the things on the list. I did talk to a solar guy before 2011 ended (yay) and he is coming back next week. He had the coolest gizmo that determines the amount of sun I get on my roof. Not enough for full on solar, but I can do hot water...so there, one off the list.

In no particular order

* Train us (me, the big dog...note order of the two)

* Learn to say no....diplomatically

* Quilt more

* Have fun

* More adventures

* Read NY Times Magazines in the year in which they were published

"You've got to be a thermostat rather than a thermometer. A thermostat shapes the climate...; a thermometer just reflects it." Cornel West

Angel Island Update

We got a campsite or two but not "ours."
More on that later.

Campsite shut out

For the first time in something like 15 years, we won't be camping on Angel Island after the picnic. I never thought THIS would happen. Sure miss a couple, but not get one of the four we were going for? Never figured that. Bummer.

Angel Island Countdown

This year's Angel island Picnic will be on June 23. Today, with temperatures at my house hovering around 20, we are allowed to try to reserve our campsites. I don't want to go camping right now. I don't really like this whole process.

On December 1st, all of the campsites in the state of California (in the state system) are up for grabs. This hasn't always been a big deal--once you got on...yes...THE PHONE QUEUE. And then it used to be worse--back when the computer system would crash from all the traffic. Now it's just nerve wracking. I am setting up my account now. I started an hour before the lottery begins. Now I am afraid I will get so involved in this or Facebook or maybe I should just buy gift cards at Amazon for the next generation since no one seems to be offering gift suggestions...that I will forget to set my atomic clock (yes, this is serious) and hit the buttons in the right order. Oh my.

Last year while on the island, there was a nice fellow with a child or two who had stolen one of our campsites--er made his reservation before we did--and I said, kiddingly of course, "We hate you." He apologized profusely. We all lived peacefully after I explained the situation and said I was kidding, sort of. He didn't know the importance of our having that campsite year after year on those specific dates.

OHMIGOSH, less than a half hour to go. Time for a bathroom stop before the fun begins.

PNewL PNewS Vol. 19. Issue 4

PNewL PNewS

Volume 19 No. 4 “All the pnews that phits.” October 2011

Just Get it Done

It is ironic that at the same time I have changed my motto from “Do what you can” to “Just get it done,” I am writing the September issue of the PNewS in late-October. Let’s blame it on the fact that I was indeed getting other stuff done. At least part of the time—the rest of it, I was playing solitaire, checking Facebook and watching “Project Runway” or some other black hole of time activity.

In addition to compiling and completing all the many lists of things to do, a few big things all came together at once and suddenly needed attention and doing. Some of them are not things that need to be discussed here (believe it or not, I do keep some things private), but the major one was selling my family’s home in Florida.

My parents bought “The Box” in the early 1980s, we spent many vacations there—a lot of wonderful memories —and most recently, I lived there for somewhere between five to seven years depending on how you do the math. And it is where I met some of my favorite people in the world. Lotta baggage there.

On the upside, I sold a house in Florida in the middle of one of the worst real estate markets ever. On the downside, much money was lost. Where did it go? Alas. As Laura said, “Houses are a bargain now. Yours is one of them.” Alas, again.

Another upside is that the load of owning a home far away that was sinking and cracking and in need of care has been lifted. Tick that off the psychic burden list. And in getting that off the list, I feel like I am better at getting other things off. I usually look at lists of things to do and do the easiest ones first. Easiest usually means things I can do online without having to talk to anyone or even better, things that have really already been done. Love those!

I was finding myself looking at the clock and thinking, I could squeeze in these three phone calls in the half hour I have before I go out. Who is this person? Not my usual M.O. Well, frankly, that worked for a couple weeks but it hasn’t lasted. Now I am back to avoiding the lists, but there was a burst of getting it done and at least I was reminded of how good that felt. Now that things are a little less time sensitive, I can slouch a bit and so…I am.

Things I am Learning

& Miscellaneous Observations

• We are heading into Bear Season. That is not a hunting season…it is the season when everything starts to turn shades of brown and black and look like my Bear, the dog, and I can’t find him in the foliage. When it is truly hunting season, I will tie an orange bandanna around his neck so he won’t get shot.

• I have a sweet bowl of small bright green orbs on the counter, and I keep thinking, when I see them out of the corner of my eye, that I have a bowl of grapes, but alas, they are green cherry tomatoes and I am hoping…[Late breaking news: They are ripening! One by one. Yay!]

• The problem with the long days of summer is that the large hound thinks daylight means walk so we are up at the crack-of. The problem with the shortening days of fall is that the early morning time is spent sleeping and all that useful time is lost.

• I would like to know why a software developer made the changes when “improving” to a new version. Sometimes I just don’t get it.

• The more that gets done, the more that seems to need to be done. It’s like by doing stuff, I open a door and let more in.

• A while back, I was at a wedding and someone (me?) said s/he couldn’t remember who so and so was. My wise young cousin said, “In two hours it won’t matter”…and she was right. When meeting large groups of people one is likely never to see again…very soon, it just won’t matter.

• A different while back, I unexpectedly received a two page hand-written letter from Martha. It was a surprisingly happy event. I was inspired. I keep meaning to write some of my own, but somehow putting letter writing on a list of things to do removes the spontaneity of it and holding a pen for very long is bizarrely tiring.

• Gini and I participated in our first (hopefully annual) retreat. We rented a charming cottage (used vrbo.com) on the side of a mountain in Banner Elk. And the big dog got to come along too. We had projects in mind and some touristing to do. It didn’t quite work out as we’d planned. After the outdoor free concert in downtown Banner Elk, Gini came down with a nasty bug and more time was spent hunkered down. Then bits of a hurricane spun through making one night particularly harrowing. But it impressed me how much I could get done on my project when away from the home front where distractions abound. I haven’t been back to that project since—it was not among the things I got done in my Great Period of Accomplishment.

• I have spent more time than I would have thought possible counting my blueberry bushes. Finally, I dragged out the chart I drew to keep track of the different varieties. First, I should say I can’t hardly draw a stick figure. The chart is wildly inaccurate and I will probably never know which variety is where but the fact is there were once 14 and there are now 13. I have stopped re-counting.

• I pruned my pyracantha bush about a month ago (perhaps the wrong time of year but it was out of control). In the process I jabbed myself in the knuckle of my pointer finger on one of the thorns. The finger blew up, and a month later, it’s still sore. Surprising.

• Bear and I have been seeing a "pet commun-icator" lately. In my more cynical moments, which often rule my view, I think she may also be communicating with my bank account to see how far she can take this. But I also find it fascinating.

The first time we went, she was explaining what she was going to do though she never said Bear's name. As it was time to start, with no vocal or physical cue that it was starting time, Bear got up and went over and lay down at her feet. I believe Bear knows more about what's going on here than I do.

The things he tells her are things I had no idea he was familiar with—he told her how often I should change the house water filter (every 6 weeks), he's suggested we get the house cleared (that’s another story)...and he asked the doctor (she's also a vet) to clear her office. Apparently pets absorb the bad energy so we don't have to. That can be a heavy load!

The things she tells me are challenging. He is being treated for the 10,000 things he's allergic to so I have to cook for him for 25 hours after each treatment. Mostly rice with chicken or fish. Last time, we were getting over yeast, so no baked goods (kibble) or soy sauce or beer (this is an allergy treatment originally created for humans). Next one is stomach acids—no meat or carbs. She said, “It would probably be easier to let him fast.” Easier for who? Try to convince the large hound it’s easier to skip a few meals.

The bottom line (other than the financial one) is his skin and eyes are clear and his energy level is through the roof. 'Course the weather changed and it's cool and a lot of the allergens are dying. Still, I am hopeful this will have a long term positive effect.

The Reluctant Gardener:

What I learned

While trying to simplify and get used to the rhythm of planting and weeding and reaping and sowing, I got so lost. I learned a lot and see that each season there is the possibility that I will get better. Plant choices will be more refined, I will read the backs of seed packets and truly understand the timing and place for each thing I plant and what it is actually going to look like. Or not.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will never be a Type A gardener (or Type A anything for that matter. How come there is so little hype for us Type Bs or Cs or whatever we are?). I have said enough about weeds but they are still a huge issue—perhaps the biggest--at my house.

But at the end of the season, I have to say I had fun with my little vegetables, fruit and flowering newbies. Sun Gold cherry tomatoes are the best! I pickled the peperoncini and they are fab! The raspberries are still producing. The lavendar likes its knoll. Rachel the Laurel and the dark purple butterfly bush look established and the nice woman at the nursery says my peony is supposed to look that pathetic at this time of year. I’m happy.

I don’t know if I will remember to do all the things I am supposed to do to put everything to bed for the winter, but I’ll find out in the spring I suppose. For now, I’m on a new trajectory: rocks. I found a big pile in my neighbor’s yard and I thought I might ask him if I could use them for my bird feeding area. But I tell you, dealing with birds and bird seed (everyone in nature seems to like sunflower seeds…including bugs) is almost as challenging as plants. And the big dog doesn’t care about plants…birds? They look like an intriguing game.

When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD

PNewL PNewS Vol 19 #3

[Once again, trouble with blogspot and too impatient. This is all supposed to be in Times, the larger part is all supposed to be the same size as this and this is not supposed to be in itals! And because I couldn't get the print to come out right, we are now "pretty in pink"...maybe easier to read for some. Heck, that makes me glad!)

PNewL PNewS

Volume 19 No. 3 “All the pnews that phits."”July 2011

Things I am Learning

& Miscellaneous Observations

• On occasion, I read or write a sentence that feels to me to be...perfect. No, not perfect, maybe classic or memorable or something I am truly proud of or when someone else wrote it, enviable. When I was in CA, Karen took me to Cafe Gratitude, a vegan restaurant that is part of a small chain. The food was fab. I bought the cookbook. At home, I told people I was going to become a teetotalling vegan. (I'm getting to the sentence, don't worry.) I bought the ingredients for two recipes and the bill came to almost $30. I am too cheap, but I could move the alcohol budget to ridiculously expensive nuts (it's a lot about nuts.) Midst cooking I emailed Betsy about the vegan thing and in response to her response, I wrote the following. The last sentence struck me as a winner. "Vegan is a concept. I loved the food at the restaurant, really like the idea of being nicer to my body and enjoy cooking, but...reality? I will always revere bacon."

• Someone asked me about my fly fishing class. FYI: I caught the first, the biggest and the most fish. Since Martha wasn't there, probably. The first time my Dad took me fishing, Martha caught all the bass, I caught the rock bass. I quit fishing for decades.

• 30th Annual Angel Island Picnic &16th year of Camping Report: Success! Who knows how many people were there. We did a Hands Across the Sand line, holding hands in support of clean energy/less reliance on fossil fuels, and in photos (by Sara, see below) you can't hardly see the people at the far end. I realized, looking around at our far flung crowd, that I probably only knew half of the picnickers as the next generation is showing up with their own crowds. That warms my heart. Looks like this could live on for a while.

Camping was a hit as well with a small crowd on Friday and 27 on Saturday. A new wrinkle was added when we didn't get the usual array of campsites, and the lion's share of the campers were at the group site. The wind tunnel effect there made Bob and Sara's towering tent a great source of entertainment as it was buffeted by the gale force. All in all, a good time was had.

• Mother Nature's minions continue to rampage in Ox Creek. I have told too many people too much about my recent experience as a chicken tender for Sculley and Loveeta's chickens. Suffice it to say, weasel in the hen house. You can paint your own picture. Chris and Sculley found a copperhead on the tarp over their pond when they returned from being away. I took a cool picture of bear (the animal, not the extremely large hound) paws and two sizes of raccoon paws in the mud. A small painted turtle has been trying to lay eggs in my driveway. Oh and bunnies bunnies everywhere which I am told will attract coyotes. It's a busy place!

• I have some friends who credit Pollyanna for their upbeat and optimistic view of the world. Needing an attitude adjustment in that direction, I got the book on tape out of the library and had a surprisingly enjoyable time listening. A good attitude adjustment indeed. And the next day, I noticed a sign going into Asheville that reads, "Asheville -- we're glad you are here!" American Airlines is glad to have me. She's everywhere! Meanwhile, I am working on being more glad, and it seems to be working.

• Sometimes I make a minor purchase that makes my day. This one made my weekend. When I started packing for Angel Island, I couldn’t find the stuff sack for my sleeping bag. Sue was kind enough to schlep me to REI in Marin, where I found a stuff sack…lined in fleece so you can turn it inside out and make it a pillowcase. BRILLIANT and oh so cozy.

• Cousin John recommended a book, Collapse: How societies choose to fail or succeed by Jared Diamond. I want to be a person who reads those kinds of books, but I am not though I can listen to them, which I am now thanks to the Public Library. It is a very good book, thank you John. Today’s learning thing: I am so glad there are people out there doing the stuff I would never do, like study pollen or count rings on cut trees or try to figure out what year the Anasazi were cutting down trees and building their homes or where the stone came from for the big heads on Easter Island. To those who have focused on these and other oddities, I mean niches (ahem Bob the spider man), I am grateful.

The Reluctant Gardener

It got hot in Western North Carolina earlier than it needed to, in my humble opinion. Bear took to the cool linoleum in the afternoons and I turned on the AC briefly to take the stifle off. About that climate change discussion... Meanwhile, there was a minor setback in my war on the weeds. Just because I didn't want to be out there didn't mean there wasn't activity. Sigh.

I finally planted the raised bed and have too many peppers and tomatoes though I really can't imagine there is such a thing. Little tiny arugula have popped up! And the bird house gourds look pretty happy. A few herbs round out this year's crop. We'll see if it bears fruit, er vegetables, er gourds.

While the happy crop of blueberries has come and gone, the raspberries just keep chugging along. Yay! And two apples are clinging for life on the new tree. Next year, I will prune it so it doesn’t look quite so pathetic. Sometimes I lose the details of all this stuff!

On the decorative front, I became aware of the Mountain Laurel recently. I don't know what planet I've been on that I hadn't noticed these dark green shiny leaved bushes with the lovely little space age looking flowers. This may be rhododendron country, but put me down as a mountain laurel fan. When David and his family gave me a gift certificate at the local nursery for my birthday, I took it right on over and scouted their supply and there she was, freshly watered and weighing in at about 50 lbs. (the nice young nurseryman said it was 20; I said, are you high? This baby's heavy.) I hesitated--she was also pricey. But she was the only native and she was sweetly festooned in hundreds of light pink delicate little flowers. She had to be mine.

I lugged her home and attempted to dig her hole near the bottom of the new deck. Surprise! Tree root. I moved further away. Surprise! Rock...a big one. Sir Baru and I surveyed the estate in search of another spot. She landed near the driveway. For those of you who have been reading for many years and retain such things, you might remember Max Wilson the Boxwood, the last pricey bush in the family. (Wilson from the Tom Hanks movie where he named the volleyball and Max because Nina wanted to do one of those SAT-type problems: Wilson is to volleyball as X is to boxwood. She determined in this case that X was Max. Max was a good name and Max Wilson is better though Jack thought it was a little formal--giving a bush a last name.) My laurel needed a name and it was obvious to me what it should be: Rachel, after my favorite teacher in my high school ironically named Laurel School. Rather than a last name, I think she will just be Rachel the Laurel. If someone tells me that Laurels are either male or female and mine is male, well, just don't. I can continue to live in my own little dream world.

Friends, Can you spare a dime or…more?

Every once in a while I come up with an organization I think everyone would want to support. This is another one of those times. This time I have a new tactic.

(Thanks to those of you who already have supported this …you may stop reading now.)

Think of all the money I have saved you in the past. I never got married so there has been no engagement shower, no wedding shower, no wedding present, no Bachelorette party. No baby showers, no mitzvahs of any sort or first communions or wrapping paper drives or cookie sales or sports or…well, I have been a pretty cheap date….er friend all these years.

And so I offer you the opportunity to assuage your guilt in not spending much on me over the years, and support a good cause at the same time, plus a tax deduction. Win win win!

I have been on the fundraising team for Women Build at Habitat for Humanity this year. We were a lively bunch with lots of ideas and limited follow through. I admit I sat back and watched this high powered group spin their wheels, assuming they were going to get the job done. Now, we are short of funds and frankly, I am tired of it. (And tired of the meetings!) Should you be inclined to respond to this downright begging, you can donate online at:

https://secure.sitemason.com/www.ashevillehabitat.org/donations/authorize_net_CCform

(under gift details, drop down to Women Build 2011)

[or google Asheville Habitat, click on Donate Now, specify Women Build 2011]

or send a check to Betsy Warren at

Asheville Area Habitat for Humanity
33 Meadow Rd. Asheville, NC 28803

I doubt anyone would believe it, but writing that was hard and I am glad I did it and I am glad it’s over. (Sounds Pollyanna-ish with all that glad) I appreciate you giving me your time. Now give Habitat your money. Ha!

"Housekeeping for me was event-driven, not something I did systematically or often.”

A Year of Cats and Dogs / Margaret Hawkins

PNewL PNewS Vol 19 issue 2

PNewL PNewS

Volume 19 No. 2 “All the pnews that phits.” May 2011

Mucking about in Haiti

May 1: It seems important to write this while emotions and memories are still fresh. I was part of an educational delegation to Haiti this past week and have come back a changed person. It was one of the more remarkable trips, if not the most remarkable, I have taken. I can't remember ever learning as much in one week as I did last week—about Haiti and agriculture and history and oh everything.

I met some of our group in the Ft Lauderdale airport, the rest at Matthew 25, our guest house in Port au Prince. The trip organizer was Stephen from Agricultural Missions, an ecumenical organization that supports rural impoverished folks. Stephon was our videographer. Gary and Bonnie came by way of the United Church of Canada involved in investing their charitable dollars in grassroots groups, and Monica and Eric have been working in Haiti for several years--they were looking to widen their network. Andriana is writing a book on farmers and fishers in the Americas, and me? Just doing the Peggy-thing. (Actually, I have been part of a learning circle on Haiti and I wasn't getting it via conference calls so when the opportunity appeared to see the place, I jumped. I am an experiential learner and this was an experience to learn from.)

We travelled around in a heavy duty Toyota...not sure what...but it had facing bench seats in the back and it was apparently made for the miserable roads of rural and, come to think of it, urban Haiti. Our driver, Carrell, was a master at his job though a bit lead-footed for my taste. I swear my butt is bruised, but I can't confirm that as I am too old to contort myself in that way.

Haiti is a beautiful country. As Paul Farmer's book title says, there are "Mountains Beyond Mountains," and it's in the Caribbean for crikey's sake. But its history is the poster child for "whatever can go wrong will go wrong" and there's plenty of blame to go around--the good old USA is on the list. I learned on this trip that, to paraphrase what Amy and Dan used to say to their kids, I love my country but sometimes I don't like it very much.

We met with farmers to hear about the challenges facing them. A laundry list. Who knew life could be so hard? And yet, they keep on and come up with some creative solutions and work together to make change. Go team go! There's a heckuva long way to go. I was heartened to hear Monica who has worked there for five years say that she was impressed with the amount of hope Haitians have. What a spirit. In my way, I said, if I lived here, I would move.

In Haiti, there is a lack of water--people walk forever to get potable water. Water for irrigation is a huge issue and so we saw cisterns that different folks have designed to solve some of the problems, though standing water in a country ripe with malaria is another issue. As a woman who works at the guest house said, Nothing is easy in Haiti.

Several weeks later: The memories of my visit to Haiti continue to bubble up as the distraction of life here has taken over. I printed a picture Stephon took of a family who was displaced by the earthquake and put it next to my computer. Two adults--the woman: beautiful beaming smile, neatly dressed sitting on a stool outside a recently finished mud structure--their new home--which hadn't been sealed yet; the man seemingly less able to deal with health issues and their conditions living in a tattered tent and this new structure--accompanied by their six children. They wanted to stay in the countryside but they had...nothing. The children were naked as their clothes were drying on the bushes behind them.

Looking at this woman, I felt she could have been a friend of mine had the cards been dealt differently. Without being able to communicate in words, there was something in her smile that said it will be ok. The hope of which Monica spoke. As we left her, I cried for her and her family and the rains that were coming that would pelt her unsealed mud home. Now from miles away, I look at her smile every morning and work on being hopeful for her every single day.

We stayed with a group of Brazilian farmers who were on a long term exchange—there are Haitian farmers living in Brazil too. Their hope and belief that working together they can make a difference was inspiring. This is not easy living. And they are young men, in the prime of their lives. Stephen said that the leader of the group had been knocked down by not one but two illnesses since we were there. We did a little work around the compound. Bonnie and I watered their garden—the guys brought water in large containers in a wheel barrow. We hand watered with little containers. Meanwhile, other guys were digging a well, sending up buckets of dirt with a pulley. They dug a perfectly round hole 13 meters deep when they finally hit water, several days after our return. Nothing is easy in Haiti.

I could go on and on with stories and we were only there for a week. The kitchen gardens growing in inside-out truck tires. The mangoes…ah the mangoes! The mosquitoes—ah the mosquitoes! The unusual celebration of Easter with dancing in the street and some pretty serious party going on. The visit to the Cholera ward. Driving into Port au Prince in a blinding rain storm past tent cities. Little bit of up, lots of down, with a hearty sprinkling of hope.

Reminder: Angel Island #30 is coming up on June 25.

Be there or be square.

Things I am Learning & Miscellaneous Observations

• When I saw my birthday on the horizon, I thought about what I would like to receive and I realized, as we probably all do, I don't need stuff, and what I would really like is help. So I went to Chris and asked this master gardener if she would help me in the garden, and I went to Sculley and asked if he would hang a light fixture, and I asked Allison if she would paint my front door just like hers. And they all said yes. And I was thrilled by the results. I hope they are too!

• On occasion, a perfectly healthy house plant just dies. Nothing has changed. I feel like it is suicide. Very strange.
• Recently I met a man I found interesting and charming and thoughtful and caring. It was so refreshing. It's been a long time. It was also comforting to know they are out there. The fact that he is geographically undesirable, married, and oh there was another hurdle which escapes my mind at this time, is besides the point. Meanwhile, my 80 year old neighbor says if only I were a little bit older...
• Spring has sprung and really only teases us as summer is looming large, heating our afternoons like an industrial oven, but in the cool mornings, all sorts of critters are peeking out at us when we walk. We seem to have a bumper crop of bunnies and almost as many squirrels. Two beautiful little turtles have been spotted, but the big dog doesn't seem to care. Yesterday, I saw the deer before Baru Bear, but when they saw each other, I felt there was an acknowledgment of a family resemblance there.
• What to say about a recent infatuation with standing in a cold stream in waders, watching the water rush by? I had no idea how comforting that experience could be! When a few different situations converged (I am trying to get Peter to visit and thought if I learned to fish, he might come; my neighbor has a fly fishing store; my friend Betsy is an avid fisherwoman), I found myself in the above situation...oh yeah and with a rod in my hand flicking a line back and forth, hoping nothing bit including a tree branch. It was...surprisingly delightful.
• US households use 17 billion rolls of toilet paper every year.
• I was listening to a trashy chick lit audio book recently when it described a character as one who only thought of food as fuel. He would be happy if he could take a pill instead of hassling with meals. I thought...that would work for me. Don't get me wrong. I love good food. I even like some junk food (not fast food)-- I like to eat. But, there're times when it would be handy if mealtime was over without a thought. It made me wonder, if there were a pill that was healthy--this is fantasy. Don't think red dye #whatever or long term effect on inner organs--would that appeal...on occasion? How often? I thought about it and realized, breakfast and lunch are not a problem but there are probably a couple nights a week when foraging for food in my pantry and fridge takes more time than my attention span. This is a poll. How about you?
• I am running out of space so The Reluctant Gardener report will have to wait til next time. Suffice it to say, I work hard in the garden and then ignore it for lengths of time. Still figuring this all into my life. I have gotten a handful of blueberries already!!
  

It's a blow to have to admit to yourself that you are not quite cut out for something that matters so much to you.

Gabrielle Hamilton, Blood Bones and Butter