PNewL PNewS
Volume 15 No 3 “All the pnews that phits.” Thanksgiving 2007
Reading Books, Chewing on Sticks
I have always wanted to write a piece for the “Modern Love” column in the Sunday NY Times’ Sunday Styles section, but mine is not a life of great romance. Recently I thought I might have a subject that would at least fall in the right category. It is about love of family, a new kind of family.Volume 15 No 3 “All the pnews that phits.” Thanksgiving 2007
Reading Books, Chewing on Sticks
Two years ago right about now, Gini and George and I were talking, and I (I think it was me…) said, What would you think about getting a dog together? And after some discussion, we decided this was a great idea. Neither of us was able to make a fulltime commitment what with travel schedules, health issues and attention span, but part-time seemed do-able. And the rest has been documented in these pages. We went on to adopt the cutest little puppy that became one of the most handsome—and one of the largest—hounds. He is happy, as are his parents—all three of us—most of the time.
Since his arrival, almost two years ago, the parents have become very good friends. We have survived the death of my father, my impending move, the planning of a major (annoying—my sentiments only) fundraiser, various separations, and several bouts of ill health (George’s). We have enjoyed road trips, dinners at Trader’s (mostly) and some at each other’s homes, endless phone conversations, and movie nights.
Recently, I bought a house and George went in the hospital…again. Gini and I were both stretched thin. Bear was a big happy (almost 2 year old) puppy with his own needs. He stayed with me, while Gini stayed with George in the hospital. One day, I had an all day class and Bear stayed alone at Gini and George’s because their house is better suited for long unaccompanied periods.
Our “family” was in a bit of disarray. Bear looked at us with a bit of wonder that he got to ride in each of our cars regularly—he LOVES being in a car he hasn’t been in within the previous…say, 27 minutes—but he’s hung in with our wacky new schedule, what Gini calls the “new normal.”
Feeling the strain of all that was swirling about one day, I was sitting in the cul de sac (in a lawn chair Gini had donated to this cause) where Bear likes to lie and chew sticks, and I wondered Why am I such a wreck? Why does life feel so hard? The house closed just about on time and despite some rocky moments with the process, it was relatively painless. [Ed note: Why do closings always come down to a last minute rush of paperwork? The lawyers and realtors know for a chunk of time what needs to happen when and yet, there is still a flurry of anxiety and insanity, and it always seems implied that it is my fault, that I am not moving fast enough.]
On the other hand, I am fine. George is not MY husband; this is not my family who is going through this. Au contraire! The world has shifted, things have changed. We are not of the generations when you lived within spitting distance of your closest relatives. One’s closest relatives now may not be related by blood at all. And this is my family and they are hurting, and so am I.
Not knowing what else to do, we are sitting in the cul de sac, sending words of support on the phone and over the stretch of water between us; I read books and Bear chews sticks.
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House Update
Things I am Learning And Other Miscellaneous Observations
House Update
As mentioned, I am now a homeowner in the state of North Carolina. On Monday, I will drive my first load from here to there. It makes me a little nervous but it will be fun to be there. And the nice man at Penske says the truck has less than 11,000 miles, a CD player (to feed my books on tape addiction), and a new car smell. Wish me luck. There will be additional trips with yet more stuff. The final move date should be around June 1st. (Other photos can be found at www.pnewlpnews.blogspot.com)
-----------------Things I am Learning And Other Miscellaneous Observations
• According to the AARP newsletter, the “do not call” list many of us took advantage of expires every five years. That means if you signed up when it became available, you will need to re-up in June of 2008, though you can do it now. Check out donotcall.gov or 888-3821222.
• I had a weird experience recently. I took my car in to the dealer to be serviced. The guy was so excited because Toyota wanted to do some testing on first generation Priuses with low mileage like mine. I think at that point, he went into boy-am-I-going-to-look-sharp mode. They had been waiting for three weeks for a car like mine to drive in the driveway—he said, so you want a new car? I was blown away—Cool! Later I figured out he meant you wanna new battery? Mind you, that’s not a bad deal—the batteries in the Prius are pricey, but the whole thing wound up being a hassle and the problem I took it to the dealer to be dealt with was not fixed. The service dude didn’t even write it up the way I said it to him. This is further proof that people don’t listen, not even to themselves.
• In Los Angeles magazine (November 2007), it was noted that, after 60 years, production of Wonder Bread in Southern California has ceased. The closest Wonder Bread factory is in Las Vegas. When I checked the Wonder Bread website’s FAQ (wonderbread.com), it said if you can’t find it in your grocery store, request it. Sounds like demand is down!
• Lisa visited recently. We met up in Winter Park near Orlando—a charming place with brick streets, wonderful shops, a “scenic boat cruise” [it was!], and a museum packed with Tiffany glass [MorseMuseum.org]. Well worth a stop, especially when trying to escape the madness that is Orlando!) We drove back to Sanibel and she brought me a hostess gift (she was raised right—so was I, but I don’t follow through so well—sorry Mom) including the NPR Map which is invaluable for folks like me who drive places and listen to NPR. You can also go to npr.org and get an NPR Road Trip to find stations along your route, but this is way more visual and in map format rather than MapQuest-esque.
• In May 2007 Natural Health, there is an article that starts out, “One in eight American adults obsessively checks e-mails, or loses track of time while browsing online [my itals] according to a 2006 Stanford Univ. School of Medicine report. If that sounds like you, you may be addicted to the internet.” Frankly, I think the number is higher.
Signs of addiction include, “Zoning out when surfing, often forgetting what you’ve just read…Getting sidetracked by e-mail…Feeling preoccupied by the Web….Worrying that you are missing something when offline…Upsetting family and friends with the time you spend online.”
If any of these sounds like you, you need to be “more mindful” of how you spend your time. Plan activities away from the computer; turn off alerts and schedule times of day to check email.
• Speaking of addiction, I believe I am addicted to some books. I can’t seem to put them down. I stay up late, I wake up in the middle of the night and think, perhaps I can knock off just one more chapter between 3 and 4 am. I sometimes make myself return everything to the library just so I have some peace.
• Perspective. Interesting, ain’t it? I had an issue with a woman I met recently. She was supposed to be helping me (at great expense) and I didn’t feel that she was. I tried to explain to her in what ways I didn’t think she was being helpful and she would say it made her sad that I felt that way but I was wrong, and I, of course, thought I was right. She wants to discuss it and I have run out of the ability to see why as neither of us is able to see it from the other’s perspective.
-----------------• I had a weird experience recently. I took my car in to the dealer to be serviced. The guy was so excited because Toyota wanted to do some testing on first generation Priuses with low mileage like mine. I think at that point, he went into boy-am-I-going-to-look-sharp mode. They had been waiting for three weeks for a car like mine to drive in the driveway—he said, so you want a new car? I was blown away—Cool! Later I figured out he meant you wanna new battery? Mind you, that’s not a bad deal—the batteries in the Prius are pricey, but the whole thing wound up being a hassle and the problem I took it to the dealer to be dealt with was not fixed. The service dude didn’t even write it up the way I said it to him. This is further proof that people don’t listen, not even to themselves.
• In Los Angeles magazine (November 2007), it was noted that, after 60 years, production of Wonder Bread in Southern California has ceased. The closest Wonder Bread factory is in Las Vegas. When I checked the Wonder Bread website’s FAQ (wonderbread.com), it said if you can’t find it in your grocery store, request it. Sounds like demand is down!
• Lisa visited recently. We met up in Winter Park near Orlando—a charming place with brick streets, wonderful shops, a “scenic boat cruise” [it was!], and a museum packed with Tiffany glass [MorseMuseum.org]. Well worth a stop, especially when trying to escape the madness that is Orlando!) We drove back to Sanibel and she brought me a hostess gift (she was raised right—so was I, but I don’t follow through so well—sorry Mom) including the NPR Map which is invaluable for folks like me who drive places and listen to NPR. You can also go to npr.org and get an NPR Road Trip to find stations along your route, but this is way more visual and in map format rather than MapQuest-esque.
• In May 2007 Natural Health, there is an article that starts out, “One in eight American adults obsessively checks e-mails, or loses track of time while browsing online [my itals] according to a 2006 Stanford Univ. School of Medicine report. If that sounds like you, you may be addicted to the internet.” Frankly, I think the number is higher.
Signs of addiction include, “Zoning out when surfing, often forgetting what you’ve just read…Getting sidetracked by e-mail…Feeling preoccupied by the Web….Worrying that you are missing something when offline…Upsetting family and friends with the time you spend online.”
If any of these sounds like you, you need to be “more mindful” of how you spend your time. Plan activities away from the computer; turn off alerts and schedule times of day to check email.
• Speaking of addiction, I believe I am addicted to some books. I can’t seem to put them down. I stay up late, I wake up in the middle of the night and think, perhaps I can knock off just one more chapter between 3 and 4 am. I sometimes make myself return everything to the library just so I have some peace.
• Perspective. Interesting, ain’t it? I had an issue with a woman I met recently. She was supposed to be helping me (at great expense) and I didn’t feel that she was. I tried to explain to her in what ways I didn’t think she was being helpful and she would say it made her sad that I felt that way but I was wrong, and I, of course, thought I was right. She wants to discuss it and I have run out of the ability to see why as neither of us is able to see it from the other’s perspective.
Things I am Thankful for, 2007
(In no particular order)
(In no particular order)
- No hurricanes
- Many people who teach and inspire me
- Salad
- Traders Restaurant
- Wonderful fabrics
- The luck of my draw
- Comfortable shoes
- Finding some-one who could fix what ails me (and my new friend who is a masseuse—that helps too!)
- Books on tape
- Volunteering at the library
- Community
- The birds!
- Old friends and new friends
- Opportunity
- The beach and Kathleen who makes me walk it regularly
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My sincere wishes to you for all that is good in the holiday season.
Here’s to you and yours, me and mine, and to our global community.
Here’s to you and yours, me and mine, and to our global community.
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“Everyone must go through the narrows—
the transition to a different phase of life—
and if you don’t do this voluntarily,
the world or your body will force you to.”
Sara Davidson, Leap!
the transition to a different phase of life—
and if you don’t do this voluntarily,
the world or your body will force you to.”
Sara Davidson, Leap!
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