PNewL PNewS 23-5. Happy New Year!

PNewL PNewS

Volume 23 No. 5                         “All the pnews that phits.”                                January 2016

               A New Year, a New Obsession

What’s the best way to follow a pretty unhappy holiday season? Change your diet…drastically. It will take away all memories of that hot sticky unhappiness and set you on a new course for the new year. It will distract you beyond your wildest imagination. It will make you feel worse before you feel better. It’s a major rollercoaster of a way to start 2016, both physically and mentally. Remember this is all about me—you don’t have to do it, because I am. And it is all of the above and more.

A couple months ago I was at the doctor’s and we were talking about my health and he said, we can fix a lot of that through diet…but (I don’t remember what he said—something like) it’s going to be big. After a bit of back and forth, I asked where wine fit in, he looked at me funny: “It doesn’t—not for a while.” I knew it was going to be big. He told me to get these two books, one of which I have not managed to read and the other I’ve read most of—a lot is recipes so that was easy reading. The recipes have almost all been good. The rest of the words make a lot of sense.

            So I practiced on the recipes, quit wine during the week, in preparation for a January 1 start date. We figured starting even before sad holidays would be setting me up for a possible disaster. Even making the small changes made my clothes fit better. I was intrigued.

            While I was in Florida, I kept reading the book (Whole30 by Hartwick & Hartwick) and telling Gini about it. She’s a science-oriented person and the more research she did on it, the more she thought it made sense and the more she wanted to do it. She wound up starting a day ahead of me. She cleaned out her freezer, fridge and pantry. I shoved everything “non-compliant” aside. I did remove things I thought might present temptation down the road.

            A short version of the idea behind it (this is short and though hopefully not inaccurate, it is incomplete and it is my interpretation): Eliminate a lot of food options to encourage my body to use fat for fuel rather than sugar. It’s a habit reset, a detox of a variety of food habits/addictions. And the stuff eliminated? Dairy, grains, legumes, sugar (alcohol), soy, very limited vegetable oil, (there must be something else—I never seem to be able to list all the Nos in one list). It’s Paleo plus (or minus). Apparently in Paleo there is some room for desserts, breads etc if made from the right ingredients. Whole30? None, nada, never. In the book and on the website, there is much discussion of pancakes. Apparently folks want to figure out how to make a compliant pancake and the beast doesn’t exist. It is not allowed. Ever.

            So I got home and went through my kitchen. I did throw out anything in the freezer from 2013 and anything I didn’t recognize. I emptied the top shelf of the fridge and one shelf in the pantry. And then I went to the store. This is an epic experience. I hope it gets easier. Reading labels is crazy. Reading labels during the week between Christmas and New Year’s annoys just about everyone, especially at some place like Trader Joe’s. Ask me how I know. Sugar, wheat and soy is in EVERYTHING including supplements. After spending a bundle at TJ’s and the healthy grocery store and a little at the regular grocery store, I was ready to go, and it was only December 30^th. I had a martini (or two) and decided to start the following day. I was a wreck.

            And I was a wreck for about four days. I was totally obsessed with cooking and meal plans and cleaning up (which is not my strong suit), and reading labels (still, just in case. I did find some sugar in a TJ’s spaghetti sauce I had read was okay. Dang.) In the book, there is a timeline of how you are going to feel each day based on thousands of others who have done this. It has played out pretty accurately so far. I am writing this on Day 12 and the timeline says I could be having weird food dreams and I did have a food dream last night but I only vaguely remember it. It also says this is the time for weird cravings. I am not sure of that but I do find when I hear something—a woman in the book I am listening to took a heckuva long time to make a martini yesterday which made me think about it—it sounds kind of interesting but when I come up with things on my own that I used to eat a lot, it doesn’t always sound tempting. Wine does not sound interesting at all. Weird, eh?

            Day 12 of 30, and then re-entry when I leave for Mexico, the land of beans and grains. Is this sustainable? I don’t know. It’s not all that fun when I go out into the world. I don’t like being the person who grills the waiter about the recipe for the meal, but maybe I will. Patsy and Ernie and I go to a restaurant all the time and I have been thinking about stopping in and asking some questions before we go there. I admit, despite a slight headache right this very moment (probably from sitting at the computer too long), I do feel better in general. For the first time in a long time, I think I may need a belt (as in around my middle, not at a bar). My psyche feels lighter – yeah, I’m not sure what that means either, but go with it. I haven’t yelled at anyone on the phone. It all feels right to me. We shall see what the future brings.

This would normally be where my “Things I am Thankful For” and new year’s resolutions reside. If you really miss it, read last year’s edition. Same same. Here’s to you for reading this!

Things I am Learning

& Miscellaneous Observations

• I forgot to mention in the last PNewS that I actually bought a new car. As I mentioned in the issue before that, it was a huge decision because I was attached to my old car in an emotional way. Actually, it was pretty easy. (Well, it wasn’t really because I went to two different dealerships that paid us little attention. One did not have the car I wanted and the other didn’t seem interested in showing me any of the gobs they had on the lot. What’s that about?) Once I found the car I wanted, I drove it, signed some papers, gave the folks a pile of money and drove away. It occurred to me the last time I bought a car (new 1992 Toyota truck), the newest innovation was cup-holders. Cars have come a long way, baby.

• My wonderful neighbors came to me and said they were planning to do some clearing on the property behind my house. They wanted me to know exactly what they had in mind. It is their property and really, they can do whatever they want but it was so kind of them to keep me in the loop. Susan said they wanted a project—I know that feeling. Jeff said they are putting in a mobile home park, a tasteful one. Sure Jeff.

They hired a nice man with a lot of big equipment. In the way that contractors probably get sick of hearing, I said, “As long as you are here…” and soon, the hump in the middle of the backyard was gone! That hump, which I had tried to put steps up to the top, turning it into a garden, was in the way. When I was buying the house, we joked that Ray had buried his ex-wife there. Then somehow I got it in my head there was a big tree stump that Ray had buried rather than pull out. Turns out there was a rock the size of a kitchen stove under there. I missed its removal but we all loved the idea of Ray sitting up there shaking his head and laughing. He knew what was under there and why—it weighed a ton. But it’s now at the entrance to the future Big Rock Mobile Home Park & Jamboree and my backyard is wide open and ready for…a project.

• I got new glasses recently. I am tired of taking off and putting on readers. And as the woman who sells me glasses likes to point out, there is correction in the other part of the glasses. I’m on trifocals/progressives. Proof that I am old. I really like ‘em but I feel like my eyes are getting lazy (or maybe just old). I can see perfectly fine without them but when I take them off and, say, try to watch TV, well, it all gets a little warbly.

• Fostering update: Over Thanksgiving, I took on two foster puppies. I know, I know. I said, no more puppies. And then I got two--because they are small? Because two keep each other company? I am bleeping nuts, I agree. Anyway, they were “black lab mixes/eight weeks old” (all black shelter dogs are lab mixes and all shelter puppies are eight weeks old), and they needed a home between vaccinations…over the holiday. This was yet another challenging situation. They were nowhere near house trained—despite going out every 15 minutes whether we needed to or not, they pooped, peed and threw up constantly (often while looking right at me…who me?). They could climb out of the pen I had set up in the kitchen and they were strong and determined. They harassed Roger mercilessly so that he wound up spending most of the 12 days on my bed. And they were hilarious and cute. I have to nudge myself to say all the annoying parts because they were funny and that part is easier to remember.

     I was going to name them Mutt and Jeff but when I got home, four-year-old neighbor Henry was hanging out and I thought he might like naming one. He picked Hagrid because that was the name of his grandmother’s old dog, so they were Hagrid and Jeff. The woman at the shelter who checked them back in liked the names. Meanwhile, I am in the process of removing the carpet and replacing it with liquid resistant flooring. I am prepared for the next invasion, but not quite yet…

• I spent Christmas on Sanibel. I am not going to go into many details as it was not my favorite experience there. Man, it was hot..and humid…in December. One of my favorite parts was the 75^th birthday party we threw for Carol. Gini, I think, had this idea to collect 75 things to give her. We asked the folks who were coming to look around for things to add. Carolyn said, I’m in for ten. Soon, we had more than enough. When we told the checker at Bailey’s what we were doing, she donated a re-useable grocery bag. It was hilarious the things people had in their homes that they were willing to part with. We laughed…a lot.

• I am getting a little tired of auto correct. Now I need to proof a msg not just for my mistakes but the crazy things that Safari decides to do with my typing.

• I think the reason AARP exists is to prepare you for being a Senior--they hit you up long before you are ready and soften you to the idea that it's coming. I don’t know what the definition of Senior is but I feel like it’s coming a little early. I called the company that delivers propane and during a conversation about something else, I asked them what the 6+ on my bill was for. She said “senior discount.” I don’t mind discounts but, I am not 6+…or am I? I am thinking I may try coloring my hair.

“Yours is the harder course, I can see. On the other hand, mine is happening to me.” Philip Larkin

PNewL PNewS Volume 23 Issue 4. October 2015

PNewL PNewS

Volume 23 No. 4               “All the pnews that phits.”                          October 2015

What is Hard Work?

     I got an email from a woman I have been working with who wrote, Thank you for your hard work. It stopped me in my tracks. Some things take me years to “get.” Hard work? What is hard work? I am not a brain surgeon or otherwise saving lives. I am not digging ditches or building houses. I am not a first responder. I am not raising or teaching small children. I do not consider anything I have done in my work life as particularly hard. Sometimes it was annoying—working on the west coast and getting phone calls returned to my home at 5am PT from the east coast’s 8am and trying to sound like I was already at my desk was exhausting and challenging but it was not really hard. Spelling medical terms or finding doctors who would talk to me was frustrating but it did not raise a sweat.

     I have been working on a project that has been a lot of fun and is one of those experiences that makes me feel good about collaboration. There have been a number of balls to keep in the air and things to remember but it has been so much fun and wound up being a big success–where’s the hard part? I am connecting with people who I might not have met otherwise. I reached out to people in the community I might have been intimidated by under other circumstances so it was not hard—it was…am I really going to say it? Empowering.

     On a completely unrelated subject but stay with me here, this summer I learned what people have said all these years about mint. Pardon my language but it is a royal pain in the ass and I regret the day I thought, “How bad can it be?” If the root structure carried electricity, it would power Weaverville and that covers some territory. I planted one plant…something like pineapple mint, which I never really figured out how to use…in a 4x8 slightly raised bed. It took over. I spent an hour or so pulling it out this afternoon. I will confess—that felt like hard work, but it was only an hour.

     I guess what one considers hard work is personal. Now that I think of it, getting the doublewide ready for tenants was and still is hard because people don’t do what they say they are going to do, they don’t return phone calls, they really don’t want to work on 40 year old doublewides, but it feels a little more like torture than hard work. The nice man who cleaned up all the overactive growth in my yard in a mere four hours didn’t seem to find it all that hard though it might have killed me, or more likely never would have happened.

     Perhaps I think hard work must be physical and painful and messy. Perhaps the hard work I have done I don’t remember because the relief of it being over is what I remember. Perhaps it’s all one’s perspective.

Things I am Learning

& Miscellaneous Observations

• One of the joys of living where I live is the renewal of a friendship from high school. Patsy and her husband Ernie are great friends and frequent dining companions when they are in town. One of their passions is television so you can imagine their horror when I disconnected my satellite dish—something they call my "TV situation." Recently, Patsy emailed that it was time for me to “consider prioritizing the role of television in a rich, fulfilled life.”

• I came across the names of my San Anselmo neighbors in my address book and wondered about them. We were neighbors for 15 years+ and we were friendly but we didn’t hang out. They were older and…different. She once said she thought my yard looked great despite the fact that it was all weeds. Another time, she offered to take some stuff I had left in my driveway too long to the dump. Her husband didn’t talk much and didn’t have many teeth and he went somewhere in a rumbly truck at dawn most mornings…but he was friendly. Seeing their names, I googled them. They didn’t strike me as folks who would have much of an internet presence. I don’t know why but I was struck hard to find Berne’s obituary dated 6/22/08 (Don seems to be still alive and living in the same house). I was probably in California then, maybe even driving by to check on the old neighborhood. It was also the June I moved to North Carolina. It was a poignant search.

 • The latest foster dog is still here and I can’t seem to figure out how to send him on his way. I signed up for two weeks but then the rains hit South Carolina and the shelter was inundated with SC shelter animals and I just couldn’t imagine forcing them to take one more. Then Frankie the nervous (aren’t they all?) Chihuahua started biting folks in the neighborhood. He was surrendered by his previous family for biting one of the children. At my house, he is precious. I enjoy his company—he’s cuddle-y and he’s darling—he plays tug o’ war all day with Roger. Outside, he is wretched. He barks the whole time. If he gets off leash, he literally disappears. He is so fast he can be three properties away before I finish tying my shoes.  He’s so little and so cute everyone thinks he’s harmless which is when the biting begins. [Since the above was written, I finally said Enough. I had come to love Frankie but I knew the time had come for him to move on. I told the Shelter when I was bringing him in and enjoyed our final days together. I took him in and waited for them to rearrange crates. I set him in one with tears streaming down my face and Frankie shaking like a leaf and looking a little like he was thinking “Traitor!” By the time I got home, there was a message in the Daily Begging letter saying he’d been snapped up by another foster home. Yay!]

• As I am starting to go through paperwork in my effort to eliminate the overwhelm, I have come across files that have not been touched in years. It’s fascinating. From a file marked “Fun Stuff: PNewS”: Reduce discomfort from poison ivy by rubbing the rash with the inside of a banana peel (USA Today, 2009) I recycled the rest as it was all crazily out of date.

• Lately I have been watching people near to me go through life changing experiences and it gives me pause. I keep thinking, these are things that will affect the rest of their lives. David emailed while having chemo. Elspeth, Andy and Henry came home with a 4-day-old baby. Others are experiencing the later days of their parents or the old age wake up calls themselves. It’s one of those times that life feels Big and Real. Meanwhile, I am rolling up socks and shredding old bank statements which is fine with me.

• At the last meeting of the itty bitty knitting group, one member said she thought she might have enough yarn to last her the rest of her life…or something like that. I panicked. Does that mean we have to stop buying yarn? Noooooooooooooo!

• For the last few issues of this PNewSletter, I have been battling with horizontal lines that didn’t seem to want to go away. I was so frustrated. Nothing I did did anything to them—I could not delete, I could not erase. Finally, I googled it and there it was! The internet is amazing. (In case you were wondering, the line was no longer a line--it had morphed into a border. You go to the border section, choose None and kaboom: Gone!)

• It occurred to me as I walked with Roger this morning that I have lived in places for over 30 years where every single morning is gorgeous and often different. I am feeling that thanks-giving season coming on.

The WNC Version of Life-changing Decluttering

     In case some of you missed it, Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up: the Japanese Art of Decluttering by Marie Kondo is a popular new book. I was skeptical, but Jean said she learned some things but hadn’t put any of them to use. Ha. (Jill the librarian confirmed that she had not heard of anyone who had actually followed through on suggestions made in the book.) Still, I was inspired.

     So I folded all my t-shirts and stood them up in the drawer and then I was really inspired. It sounds goofy but it works—I can now see all my t-shirts—and I have a LOT (fewer than I had before but still a lot)—and now I don’t wear the same ones over and over. Socks? OMG—I have great socks and they have been separated and hiding all these years. There is even a yellow section of socks from my sock dyeing period. Who knew?      

     Then I started going through my closet, which I dreaded. When I looked at the pile I was giving away, I was really surprised. The basic concept from the book is to only keep what you love, which I amended to only keep what fits and looks okay. I have some clothes I love but look like hell on me so they are going to some other home where the person—and my clothes—may shine.

     My clothes closet is still not finished. I have left the shoes and blue jeans until later. I wandered in there this morning and found that I actually own silver shoes, which will come in handy for an event next week, and inside the shoes? A necklace I have been looking for…well, for longer than I care to admit.

     And this is just the beginning—yesterday I took a stack of towels (I swear they have been multiply-ing in my linen closet!) and clothes from Ray’s to the homeless shelter, plus boxes and boxes to the recycling center. Today, I have boxes and boxes of books to take to the library—some of them belong to the library but that’s another story…Last night, instead of doing something fun, found me going through files and recycling or sending the contents to the shredder. (My shredder says it takes five pages at a time. Au contraire…I’m shredding two pages at a time. Sigh. But that is not quenching the fire to de-clutter!)

     I have heard people speak (and it was probably also in this book) of how eliminating a lot of miscellaneous stuff feels like relieving a burden. I was not then but am now a believer. I will always have a lot of stuff. It is the lot in life for a crafty type who is also the offspring of two packrats, but I am enjoying the feeling of cleaning out a lot of too much. I own a queen size bed and a full guest bed—how many sets of single sheets do I need? And where did they come from? And why have I saved them?

     I think the key to my success is this: when dealing with any subset---blouses, for instance--bring them ALL out of the closet and lay them on the bed (get rid of the foster Chihuahua first), and then put them back in one at a time. It has made all the difference for me.

     I so hope I can keep this up and see it through. But now the sun is out and that distracts me. Rain returns tomorrow night and that’s not all bad.

Happy Autumn Y’all!

“I want people to remember me for laughter…

and that I was a good guy.” Art Buchwald