Quick Update: Househunting cont'd

Based on the advice of friends and a gut feeling, I DID jump on a plane to North Carolina on two days notice. Of course, I couldn't just bite the bullet and pay $800 for a ticket, I had to noodle around and totally inconvenience myself (and unknowingly endanger my life by some of the driving...) and fly out of Tampa (2 1/2 hours from home) into Greenville SC (1 1/2 hours from my destination). The remarkable thing was--if I had flown into Charlotte and driven from there (2 1/2 hours), it would have cost $600. Instead I flew into Greenville, changing planes in Charlotte, and it cost $200. Go figure 'cause I can't.

I looked at the two houses, one I had seen, one I hadn't, and was very glad I went. It is true: there is nothing like being there. At the one I hadn't seen, the pitch of the property surprised me (not a problem, but surprising), even having driven down the road before and having seen tons of pictures. The kitchen seemed smaller than in the photos. The bottom line was I really liked it. The only problem was the location--and the one thing I know is I can't change that. Well, I could or rather it could be done, but I ain't gonna do it. It was too far from town, no walking on the road with a dog or a friend (too windy and narrow), too easy to be reclusive which could be an issue for a recluse like me. While buying that house seemed like the right thing to do: it was a good price, it was in "move in" condition, it would have been easy, it would have stopped me wasting hours looking at real estate websites, it would have answered one of the zillions of questions bobbing around in this silly little head of mine, I really liked the owner and she needs and wants to sell now; it was not really right, and so the search continues.

Oh, I went to the other house which I had seen before and which is my first (house) love in the area and which is "under contract" but a reportedly shaky one, and I still love it--it's old and funky and has some structural problems that need to be looked at but still, I love it. Apparently a bright shiny low maintenance house does not seem to speak to me. Too bad about that, but we are who we are...We also drove around and looked at a few new 'hoods and I did some poking around and found some other interesting areas and some other interesting houses. But for now, I am going to wait for my next visit at the end of September.

That's all for now. Thanks for your input. I will keep adding as responses come in.

Househunting Online

This is so fun, I have to share. I sent the following email. And after, are the responses. I have such wonderful people in my life. I am verrrrrry lucky.

Subject line: Polling dear friends and trusted advisors
Have you ever or would you ever consider buying a house sight unseen? (I
included Carla, as my ringer, because I know she has done it...TWICE)

Responses (in the order rec'd)
Gini: ABSOLUTELY NOT. I would fly up tomorrow rather than not seeing it. but I think people are clearly different and some people are better at predicting their own reaction than I am. I would need to sit in it.

Evie: I can't imagine doing it even once, let alone twice. How did they work out
for Carla? I hate buying and selling houses enough to say I absolutely never would.

Nancy: Yes, I would. I'd make sure that it had a clean bill of health and that someone whose taste I trusted had had a look at it. In this case I think I'd definitely do it -- there are so many pluses -- size, location, type, and a likely really good investment that I don't think you can go wrong. Of course it's always easier to spend someone else's money!

Leslie: It depends, it depends, it depends. Because you know the area, the realtor,
the hoods, you might consider it. Is it to crazy to fly up and look? I will cross my fingers for you.

John: Just as an investment or to live in? If the latter, forget it! If the former, make sure the land value is equal to the asking price minus the cost of removing the home!
go look at it today!

Darla: No. would not think of it. so many things can be wrong--spoken like someone in the home inspection business...especially in this real estate market. my advice...get in your car and go see it...it will still be there in this market. thatès my two cents, sent to you on a french computer in quebec...

Erica: I might. A Norwegian friend of mine who was living a year in California, made a major financial commitment for a house back home in Tromso, without seeing it but based on the recommendations of friends who had seen it. I volunteer to go see it for you! and so does Kitty who just moved to NC.....But come to think of it, maybe that's how Bonnemaman and Bonpapa ended up with a piece of swamp in Florida. Current worth? $500 (this after over 50 years!)
Anyone for a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge?

Jane: Not sure: would need more details. My inclination would be no but hey........who knows.

Nancy: We bought our Vermont house after looking at it once and being in the area only two weeks. but i can't imagine not seeing it at all. there are so many intangibles - where does the sun set? Are there enough windows?

Chris: Nope--I would never buy a house unseen. . . why not go see?

Deborah: Great question.I might buy a house unseen, but I wouldn't buy it unless I knew the neighborhood, community, schools, train station, recreation, etc. I guess I'm saying the house itself is only one piece of the decision.

Maureen: I have not...but my friend Deborah bought her house in cape cod based on
the recommendation of two friends. She had been looking on the cape...was back home...a house came on the market...the friends went and looked at it...said it was perfect...and she bought it...and she loves it and it's wonderful!!! and if you're not confident...then get your ass on a plane and get up there and see it yourself!!! (not that i want you to leave...) who cares
how much the trip costs!! keep me posted...

Lisa: For me a home has to speak or I have to see the path to make it mine spiritually so no I would not buy a home sight unseen..I would buy one I feel in love with at first sight..is that different?

P&E: When I first read [the poll question], I exclaimed, "Holy s**t, Peggy has lost her mind! I would NEVER buy a house without seeing it!" E was nearby and heard all this so I explained what I was talking about. His response, (and I quote), was "If she were seeing me as a patient and she were going to do this, I'd be filling out that pink form where we get to involuntarily commit a patient to the psych ward for a 48 hour evaluation." I guess you know where we stand!

Emily: M'god. Why would you? The house you live in, rather than invest in, has to speak to you. This sounds like computer dating. What if everything is perfect on paper and on digital camera and you walk in and the shape of the front entrance hall reminds you of a creepy place from your childhood. What if the sunlight is in the wrong part of the house for your routine. Get a plane ticket and go! What could be more fun anyhow.

R: I bought sight unseen in previous years, with success. My husband and I currently own an apartment, furnished, that we paid seven figures for, and we've never seen. We hope to visit it sometime before the end of the year, and we expect some surprises despite all the due diligence, photos, and assurances. We don't mind adventure, and we don't mind creating Plan B if necessary.

Wendy: As to buying a house unseen. Never. But then I'm claustrophobic and light and air are so terribly important to me I'd have difficulty in a place without it. I've had several customers buy places unseen but they've been condos and they've seen similar floor plans and are able to see the location. I agree with your friend who asked why you don't just go and look
at it.

A: I have never bought a house sight unseen but LOVE western North Carolina. A lot of a house is its feel which is not just about the house itself but about the neighborhood, the view, the neighbors, the café up the street. If you haven't seen the house, are you familiar with its surroundings?

Susan: I would fly up immediately and sit in it cause I'm like Gini--I've got to feel it.

J&N: ABSOLUTELY NOT! But the fact that you're flying up to Aville tomorrow I assume means that you'll be seeing the unseen house asap? Good. In general, as good as friends may be and as much as you may trust their tastes, there's no substitute for seeing for your self.

D&E: I was about to say no ... but I have bought houses twice very, very, very quickly. In Seattle, I knew exactly what I wanted, but didn't think I could find it (a townhouse, near bus lines, commercial area, etc.). I looked at several other places, then saw "my place" from the outside and was ready to buy. Looked inside and was even more convinced. Ironically, the realtor I was working with refused to let me put in an offer that day; said I needed to at least sleep on it. The next day, I went over again with some girlfriends, all of whom agreed it was exactly the perfect place for me. We (my beloved Seattle townhouse) lived happily ever after for several years.
How we bought this house was pretty similar. And now I know that both Dick and I have a high capacity for making decisions quickly, when the intuition feels right. If you know that about yourself and this feels right, go for it. And I'm happy to hook you up with my dowser friend to get rid of any bad juju.

Janie: Very interesting idea and I love the responses! NC, here you come! How about this - if you find a house you really think you want to buy, can your realtor put in a bid "contingent upon buyer viewing property" within 3-5 whatever-will-work days? Maybe they won't do it, but you never know if you don't try.

I'd get on a plane and look at it - if you intend to live in it and not just use it as an investment. I'm with Gini on that. But if it's an investment, you want to be sure it will appeal to renters, so a trip up may still be in order.

Peter: only if you a) knew you were only going to stay there for a little while and b) had SOME reason to be confident it could be resold relatively easily, or c) you were buying as a fix it project so that it didn't matter if it needed new floors or whatever....

Sue: I would have little problem buying the house unseen...it's the neighborhood....and what one drives through to get there....I know that Cliff and Monika had this problem when doing this in Portland.....very cute house but a very sketchy hood....

Laurie: Not quite the same, but ... We bought land, designed a house, contracted with foundation/septic people and a builder, without knowing what we were doing. Surround
yourself with folks you like and trust, and everything will work out. Leap of faith.

Sara: First, I think that it would be "easier" to purchase sight unseen as a single person (less risk of blame game stuff). That being said, Scott and Amy bought a house sight unseen by them though they did have very good friends look at it. That too sounds like it has some pitfalls.
Has your real estate agent seen it? If so I'd say go for it. I guess, if I were single and someone who knew me or what I was looking for, saw the house, that I just might go sight unseen.
And heck, if you buy it and don't like it you can always sell it and the worst thing that could happen is that it costs you some money right? But then you would know that you are one of the few that has bought a house sight unseen!

Ellen: I agree with most of the people on your blog. I would never purchase a home sight
unseen. One must bask in the feel of the home. How the house sits in relation to the sun is very important to me. And be careful- you don't want a toilet in the middle of your living or
dining room. Some of those hill people are strange. I know because my sister lives near
Boone, and she is rather strange as well as most of her hill-residing neighbors.

PNewL PNewS Volume 15 Issue 2

Now…Where was I going...and Why?

When I returned to my office from the living room, I had closed the curtains to the afternoon sun, ironed some fabric so that it was ready to cut and sew, turned on the dishwasher, continued to wonder where the can of basting spray is (for sewing, not for roasting turkey), swept the living room (stuff was sticking to my feet as I walked), and picked up miscellaneous laundry strewn about because I live alone and I don’t care that it’s strewn most of the time and I pick it up when I do. The pathetic part was it took me a minute to remember why I had left the office in the first place, and when I did, I realized I had not retrieved my calendar. I believe I am living proof that there is such a thing as Adult Onset ADD.

I know from personal experience that ADD can be pretty serious. It is a challenge for those who have it and even more so for those who are related to those who have it. I apologize for anything offensive here. In light of that possibility, perhaps I should call it Adult Onset MDD (Majorly Distracted Disorder), or perhaps it’s middle age. I am so easily sidetracked--I don’t seem to finish anything in a linear fashion. Often, I wander aimlessly trying to remember what it was I thought I was doing.

But wait--I actually am capable of finishing lots of stuff! Everything on my list eventually, but it doesn’t always happen in the way one might think it would or expect it to.

Recently, I cut myself some slack. I sat down with myself and I said look—these are the things on the list, you know the deadlines, you know the obstacles (appointments, meetings, dog walks, happy hour). Figure it out. The stress level has been cut in half. If I wake up at 3 a.m. and I can’t sleep, something gets done. (Bear, the extraordinarily large hound, has been enjoying the lion’s share of August at his other home where he can swim all day and generally has a more entertaining time, so his sleep is not disturbed by these nocturnal meanderings.)
See! Just now, mid-paragraph, I got up because I heard the dishwasher click off and wanted to turn it off before it started baking the dishes dry (energy waste and who needs any more heat anywhere in Florida in August?) and en route, I stopped at what I like to call Madge’s Fabric Shop (also in the living room), picked out two fabrics that are going to complete the quilt that has been covering the dining room table for a couple weeks, had a beverage and some lunch and now I am back. No harm no foul, but where’s the continuity here?

And therein lies the question: is there harm in being someone who can’t stay on task but is on many tasks all at once? I don’t know, but the buzzer is ringing to let me know the eggs are hardboiled and I have got to get the laundry out of the washer and flip the book-on-tape tape. You figure it out and get back to me. Thanks.

Things I am Learning and Other Miscellaneous Observations

• Next month, I am going to Boston for the AARP convention. My high school classmates and I are celebrating our 50th birthdays this year and I guess it was Laurie thought it would be a funny thing to do. Looks like it’s going to be a small gathering but hanging out with Laurie is worth the trip—the rest of ‘em will be gravy. Recently, I was reading “The Sweet Potato Queens’ Field Guide to Men” by Jill Conner Brown and she said about high school reunions beyond #25: “Everybody is kinda over themselves by this point. You’re no longer ‘fixing to’ do anything; you’re pretty much doing it or happy to admit that you’re just not gonna do it ever and it’s okay. There’s not much mystery about how you’ll turn out. You’ve already turned out about as much as you’re going to.” Words to live by.
• The other day I was thinking about…well, feet. And I thought of my mother who I thought had perfect feet. They were the same size as everyone else’s, the toes curved over just the way they are supposed to and they were just perfect. I, on the other hand, inherited my father’s although mine are not flat—just incredibly long and skinny with toes that go on for days. I have come to like them after many years. I have recovered from the attractive shoe salesman who said, “Why would you want to put shoes on those canoes?” (I was 16 and having enough trouble with life and self esteem and body image, thank you very much.) Anyway, I realized, I did get one thing from my mother: I have her baby toes. They are perfect…and that’s probably enough of that.

North Carolina Update

This pnewsings combined with the blogging is confusing me, in a not all-bad way. I wrote in a June blog about my visit to Asheville—I suspect no one reads it but the problem is I think I have already said it. The confusing part. The short version is I liked it a lot—Asheville that is. I went back in early August after weeks of perusing real estate ads online. I was armed with a list of houses that looked interesting all over Buncombe County (Nancy told me it’s pronounced like the second syllable rhymes with the first: “bun-come.” Phew I got around that.) and the name of a highly recommended realtor. I stayed with Patsy and Ernie again but I spent most of my time on the road, logging over 300 miles, not to mention the three adventures with the realtor.

I found the driving entertaining. Someone steals road signs out in the boonies. Why is up for discussion…my realtor said it’s kids, another person said it was because people don’t want you to be able to find them. Well, I couldn’t find much of anything. I stopped out in the middle of nowhere with the map spread out and the cutest guy stopped to ask if I was lost, and I said, “Yes, but I have been for several days now so I am getting used to it.” He laughed, and drove off. Yet another missed opportunity. Then there’s the problem of missing signs and roads that jog uncontrollably hither and yon. I stopped at an intersection and another handsome gent pulled up. I said, “I’m looking for Turkey Creek Road…” and he paused and chuckled, and I said, “I mean the part that goes THAT way…” (As opposed to the part I had already been on.) He helped me get going the right way or that is the correct direction. It was a challenge. I have always thought of myself as having a good sense of direction--apparently not in the hills of western North Carolina though.

So I looked at several different communities and tons of houses from the outside. I eliminated several areas because they were too far away from something or it didn’t feel like there was any “there” there or the houses were too new or the opportunity for putting in a huge new development was too close or the I’s weren’t dotted and the T’s weren’t crossed. And then Lisa the realtor and I went inside some places and there were even more reasons to eliminate them. A couple we hardly went in the driveway much less inside—we could smell the funk from the street. I love house-hunting. It is highly addictive. I have spent a lot of time wandering the real estate websites (endless opportunities) and getting inside is even better--looking at nooks and crannies and inside closets etc. It’s legitimate snooping.

I found a house I loved just before leaving. It, of course, sold the day I decided to think about maybe possibly putting in an offer. Everyone says, “…then it wasn’t meant to be.” Yeah, well, whatever. I have since found another “perfect place” and am wondering what to do next. I check each morning to see if it has sold. I don’t know if there is any activity on it, but it sits on my computer screen, silent, clean, empty. I asked Sue who will be vacationing in the area this week if she would call my realtor and swing by. She said she would try but feels it is way too big a responsibility, having a yea or nay opinion.

What the heck is going on here? I hear you cry. I don’t know. I love parts of the life here in Southwest Florida. It’s lovely, the birds are so cool. I have people, a place. But I don’t see myself living here forever and if that’s the case and there’s some place else that looks interesting, why not? And one of the many things I learned in moving here is that there are fabulous people everywhere. How cool is that? Onward!...?

"Sometimes you count the days, sometimes you weigh them.” Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love