PNewL PNewS
Volume 30 Issue 2 “All the pnews that phits.” May 2022, for a few more hours
A Distressed Damsel
It is not easy to confess but I have been known to pull the damsel in distress card. I am not proud of it. I am not proud of it because I wish I had learned enough along the way to be self-sufficient always but, sheesh, just writing that sounds silly. I s’pose I should say I wish I had learned more about how to fix and do and …and I wish I handled the situations better.
One of my early distressed damsel opportunities came when I was getting ready to leave the country. I was living in Northern California and I was having a major (to me) add on/remodel. The guy had taken his sweet time starting the project and then during it. My neighbor didn’t help by plying them with day old pastries from Safeway, which led to a rat problem in the basement but that’s a whole other story. At the last moment, right before he was finishing and before I was leaving, the hot water heater stopped working. He came to work to wrap things up. I said, you need to fix this. He looked at me quizzically. I didn’t have a choice so I was not giving him one. I went to Yardbirds and got a new hot water heater and he installed it. I suspect there should have been a permit or something but it was done and I was too. I won’t list the other instances that are less memorable but I’ve definitely pulled the card a few times and it doesn’t feel any better the more I do it. And I suspect old age will open up lots more opportunities.
Not too long ago, I was faced with getting my house reroofed. I hired the roofer who replaced the Doublewide’s roof. He’s a nice local guy who’s fast, walks around the yard afterwards with a magnet to get the nails, and likes to fish. Attention to detail. Before that could happen, I had to have the solar panel removed. The roofer doesn’t want anything to do with them things. This sent me down a bit of a rabbit hole.
The people who installed my solar panel no longer service hot water solar panels. They recommended a guy who once worked for them and was filling this niche. I told him what I needed and he said it’s going to be (Insert absurd amount or money here) to take it down and (insert an even larger absurd amount of money here) to put it back up…if it’s really working. He never came by—he never looked at the photo I sent of the situation. He knew I was stuck.
I asked a neighbor friend if he could recommend someone and he did. Communication with this guy was not good from the start but I was kinda…stuck—he obviously didn’t read my emails very carefully and when his plumber called he said he was coming to look at the hot water heater that needed to be replaced. I said I need a solar panel removed. We were both confused. After three visits which did not result in a removed solar panel, I was getting worried but by this late date, I was really stuck. On Saturday morning before the roofer arrived on Monday, I caught him backing out of the driveway. “I have bad news.” I went seriously ballistic. I said many bleep-able words at very high volume. He said it wasn’t his fault. This guy looked like a kicked puppy but frankly, that was not my problem—MY problem was getting the solar panel down by 7:30am on Monday. I spent the afternoon watching YouTube videos. I was very close to thinking I could just kick the solar panel down off the roof but did worry about the mess.
I called the aforementioned neighbor and I explained that I had no intention of having the solar panel returned to the roof, I just wanted the panel down and the kid out of my life. And I whined…a lot. And the neighbor, bless his heart, helped get it done.
It hurts that I no longer have a solar panel—I feel like I am not being “consistent with my values,” but sheesh, that was ridiculous. (According to the YouTube videos, I had broken even on the panel and so I would be starting over again.) I have a panel and assorted hardware related to it if anyone wants them.
Things I am Learning
& Miscellaneous Observations
• There is an acronym in the yarn world (and perhaps other worlds): SABLE. Stash Accumulated Beyond Life Expectancy. I have that in yarn, fabric and books. Recently I had this moment of reflection when I looked around at all the horizontal surfaces covered in books and thought, realistically, which of these am I never going to get to? I only pulled six books, and have since mailed some away after reading them so the piles are shrinking. I have a whole stack that were going to go last time I did this and then I looked at reviews and they all got good ones so I held on. That doesn’t mean I am going to read them. They are in a grey area. The yarn and fabric need some attention…one day soon…
• I think Buster’s life would be complete if squirrels couldn’t climb trees.
• I went to a new dentist. It was such a positive experience. The people—front desk, hygienist, and dentist—were all friendly and positive in a not creepy way. They said many nice things and were encouraging and it all felt, dare I say, sincere. I came away feeling differently than other dentists I have been to in a long time. I had the World’s Best Dentist for years plus she is a friend. I got spoiled.
In the last several years, I have gone through three different dentists. I felt like I had people look at me with dollar signs in their eyes—the first discussion before I was treated was how to get deals and discounts. If I paid for an annual package, it would mean a huge savings. If I paid by check or cash, there was another discount. I felt like the purpose of getting my teeth cleaned was to give them an opportunity to find expensive damage. (“Look at that spot—looks worrisome, doesn’t it?”) The people were plenty friendly but the bottom line seemed more important. One said he hoped he never had to deal with my front teeth (they have crowns from before they were called crowns), and before that I had to sit down with the wife/office manager to basically prove that I could afford to pay my bills. This time, I wrote my check and walked out with my healthy gums (“that are a foundation for good solid dental work”) and felt like a million bucks.
• What a joy it is to get the Medicare folder off the dining room table! And the tax file should follow it shortly.
• I paid $3.48/gallon for gas today. I almost felt like I was cheating or something. (This was a while ago but it was a huge discount at the time. Recently the out of gas light came on when I was driving on back roads and I pulled in to a little station I knew would be even more expensive than the stations on the main roads. I just wanted enough to get me to those main roads. Not thinking about where we are in gas pricing, I gave them $10. As I pumped my 2.1 gallons, I laughed out loud. They must’ve thought I was pathetic.
• I came across an article about croutons. The theory is that anything crunchy is a crouton--including Cheetos and potato chips. I decided not to read the article because that headline was all the information I needed. (I did go back and read the article and she also included things like Japanese rice crackers, day old sushi rice, and a few other things. Enough said.)
• When I search for a word on my computer, I often get a lot of hits. I just searched for “dainty.” One hit this time—the sock pattern I was looking for. Apparently “dainty” is not a key word in my vocab.
• When I was in Iceland, I bought four postcards, four stamps and yarn, and the postcards and stamps cost more than the yarn!
Grrrrrrrdening
Here we go again—the growing season hath begun.
· Yesterday I thought, I wonder what that is, and yanked. Today, leaves have sprouted and yup, poison ivy.
· My dear friend Ray used to say you can’t stick a knitting needle in the dirt around here without hitting a rock, and it’s true. And I never know how big the rock is going to be. Sometimes it’s baseball size or like a silver dollar and sometimes it’s couch-size. I started working on what I guessed was a Roger-sized rock and I thought, I’m planting groundcover…Back it up buttercup, we do not need to go there. I didn’t. The rock is covered and the groundcover is in the ground. They will have to learn to co-exist.
· I used raised bed dirt mixed in with the soil because I had it. Are the dirt police going to come around and say, “Missy, you have raised bed dirt ON THE GROUND. Here’s your citation.”? Yeah, probably not.
Hope is a discipline and we have to practice it every single day. Mariame Kaba
Where’s Reverse? or ‘Round Iceland with a Car Full of Wool
I turned 65 so I thought I should do something nice for myself. I went to Iceland…for a writer’s retreat and because I’ve never been there and I have heard such nice things. (One of my teachers warned against using the word “nice.”) The writer’s retreat was very good. The teachers were friendly and funny and generous. One of the women who founded it (the Iceland Writer’s Retreat) is the First Lady of Iceland so she has some pretty good connections, plus she was funny and friendly and generous. It was an all-around good experience and I think I will go back (Partly because I didn’t see puffins or eat at the tomato restaurant or see half the country and there will be more and different workshops). All of the classes were unique in style and subject and helpful…except the one by the woman who taught the wrong class, and that might have been helpful if I hadn’t spent half the class wondering what she was talking about and why.
Turned out two people I knew were there —one had attended before (Lenore) and the other (Krista) had been encouraged to come, like me, by a third person (Cathy) who was supposed to be there but wasn’t. It was fun getting to know them better and having familiar faces in the crowd. A good time was had by all, though we missed Cathy mightily.
With the workshops wrapping up mid-day on Sunday, I bid a fond farewell to my people and got a rental car. I had requested an automatic itty-bitty car. I got a larger manual car. I could not find reverse—a lot has changed in a manual car since my 1992 Toyota truck was built. It was nerve wracking—I couldn’t stop anywhere that I would have to back out of. Turns out there was a ring around the stick-shift that had to be pulled up to go in reverse. There was an R in the diagram on the top of the stick, but it did not mention lifting the ring.
And so, a new adventure began. I headed to what I call the Snagglepuss Peninsula, mostly because I had trouble pronouncing Snaefellsnes. I had a hard time pronouncing many words but I did practice as I toodled along. Thankfully English is spoken by most people and Google Maps works well.
I spent a day wandering around this lovely peninsula that is poking out into a ferocious body of water that is part of the North Atlantic. There is a National Park, complete with a large volcano, that are both called Snæfellsjökull (and no, I can’t pronounce that one). There are small towns that made me wonder why people lived there (fishing?). There were large churches in the middle of nowhere, and small pieces of art along the side of the road. It was delightful.
At one point, I stopped in the middle of the road to take a picture because there are no shoulders and very few cars and I had to hold on to the door so it didn’t blow away. Seriously. The whole country feels a bit hammered by the elements, in a good way. The land is doing its best to survive and thrive in harsh environs. When I was looking for rental cars, I read one can get wind insurance, and sand and ash insurance for damage from flying bits of either. No insurance covers windshields, tires or the underside of cars—all are too vulnerable. There is wildness there.
The morning I was leaving Stykkisholmur (referred to as Stykkish or Stykk), I woke up to an unexpected snowfall. I had a mountain pass to cross on my way back to Reykjavik (all roads seemed to go there). I was…concerned. The innkeeper said, “It will be bad but it will be brief.” Then she pulled out the map and showed me where it would be bad which, oddly, didn’t include the pass. It was a little daunting but soon after leaving town, I passed a snowplow and it had obviously been over the mountain.
In Reykjavik, I picked up Lenore who needed a ride to the Blue Lagoon, and a roommate for her stay there and a ride to the airport. I could do and be all of those things. It was quite a luxurious place surrounded by the famous milky blue thermal pools. We had quite the pampering and relaxing time. I don’t think I need to do it again, but there’s a new check on the Bucket List.
After dropping Lenore, I headed east towards the Golden Circle, which includes the Greatest Hits of Iceland and while gorgeous and remarkable, the crowds, even in early May in a country that considers its “Season” to be June July and August, were noticeably larger than over on Snagglepuss.
The vistas are vast. When the country isn’t mountainous, it’s flat as a pancake and there are no trees so the views go on for days. The beaches are volcanic black sand, and the coastline is well worn. And by the way, the food is surprisingly fresh and delicious in even the most far-flung town. I didn’t eat anything terribly exotic (another reason to return), but the fish was fabulous…everywhere. It is also crazy expensive—everything is. Lenore suggested I pretend it is Monopoly money and deal with it when I get home. Advice taken.
One of my favorite stops was two+ hours beyond my accommodations (which reminded me of The Shining on first glance but wound up being a charming stay). I was driving along the coast up against the cliffs, surprised by waterfalls coming out of every crack, followed by wiggly curvy steep turns and twists then long runs of flat, with views of the ocean and the contorted rock formations formed by the water and then boom! Icebergs! I knew it was coming –that’s why I was there—but it was such a pleasant surprise. The icebergs are created when the glacier hits the water. They bob around in what turns out to be the deepest lake in Iceland connected to the shortest river (1/4 mile or less?) that takes the icebergs to the sea. Sometimes it’s fast, sometimes the iceberg gets caught in an eddy and hangs around. Sometimes they hang around long enough to get dirty and melt a little. It’s always changing and captivating.
I’m coming to the end of the page so I am going to have to wrap things up—I’ve already gone way over my usual allotment. I saw lovely waterfalls and snowy peaks and the place where the European and American plates come together! All good and worth another look.
My last night, I was told that from the hotel, it was a straight shot into Reykjavik where I had to go to get a Covid test…over a mountain. Well, it had been snowing and it was cold…but I don’t have a lot of room left to tell you that story. I made it, even had time for a visit to the world’s only Phallological Museum but that will have to wait for another PNewS.
P.S. Bills are paid and the suitcase is stowed. Now all I have to do is wait for the speeding tickets to come in. Speed limit is 55mph and I am known to push it a little and one thing I was told was “Never Speed.” To be continued
“The whole system of our lives works because we are not all nuts on the same day.” Anne Lamott
