So Long My Friend
For a long time now, my mantra has been Change is Good. Recently, I feel like I need to add something to it. Change is life and life is good, considering the alternatives? And so the equation says Change is good. Something like that.
In December, my dear friend and neighbor Ray died. It has been a significant shift in my life. He was always there. I could count on his lights being on and there was comfort in that. He was always willing to chat, he loved Muddy and there are few who can say that, and he had the most optimistic view of the world and being old and living near the branch. And it was a mutual admiration society—he liked me back.
He came to me a while back and said he’d mow my lawn and if I offered to pay him, he wouldn’t do it. So for four summers, he mowed, I made him lemonade or ice water, gave him gift cards to Ingles (groceries or gas)—not officially paying him--and we chatted out amongst the rocks and stubble. This past summer, I had to put out little flags on all the big rocks because he kept hitting them and messing up the blade of his mower. He always said you couldn’t stick a knitting needle in that dirt without hitting a rock. He said a lot of things. I wish I could remember them all—they were quotable. He left me the lawn mower. His brother said Ray talked about how I wanted to learn to ride it and he really needed to teach me…maybe next summer.
I still check for his lights to be on and while I am glad to find them off (since I am the only one with keys), it’s a hard habit to break, checking up on Ray. I have the keys because he asked me to buy his house from him and let him live in it. We did that and I am so glad we did. He had a challenging relationship with his children and he didn’t want them to have any more of his hard earned money. I was challenged by their behavior and so it was fine with me that I wouldn’t have to deal with them after he died.
Au contraire! I did get to deal with them and like all good horror stories…it was cold and drizzly and dark and things went bump in the night. It all worked out in the end (well, it isn’t over yet!), but there were several nights when I could swear I heard the twang of Deliverance banjos.
So now the dust is starting to settle. The house is empty, its flaws are starting to show. Decisions need to be made as well as repairs. When Laurie was here for Christmas, we went over the see if it would make a good vacation home for her, and my knitting group met there once—it has a nice cozy feel to it. I’m having a party there next week to celebrate Ray and to ask folks what they think I should do with the house. It’s a modified manufactured home/double-wide kinda in my side yard so I want to be careful about who is there and for how long. I’m thinking short term rentals. Gini thinks Redneck Hideaway may offend someone. I was thinking about describing it as an opportunity to live like the locals…I could include the use of my 21 year old pick up truck..and heck, they could get a discount if they mow the lawn. I have the mower for it!
Things I am Learning & Miscellaneous Observations
• Wanna push my buttons? Accuse me of not taking care of my property. I just learned that while talking to my insurance agent who said that since no one is living in The Vacation Home (the doublewide), the insurance co. assumes it will deteriorate and fall down. Boy, did I strongly suggest otherwise. My reaction surprised the heck out of the agent and me too. I apologized.
• I had a crafting day with three friends, then Loveeta and I made cards one afternoon. I need to do that kind of thing more often. If I invite them, they will come. It’s fun and inspiring what people come up with.
• Ray’s brother put all kinds of stuff in the "garbage" and knowing Ray, I knew that meant a lot of re-useable stuff was going to the landfill. I offered to deal with it for the brother. I went through 16 huge garbage bags of garbage...and some of it WAS garbage (two cans-full) and the rest is going to recycling or the homeless shelter or the hard-to-recycle event. Yay.
• In December, I took Muddy to the groomer. When she took him from me she said, oh he is so matted, I am going to have to cut it short. When I picked him up he was almost bald—I gasped and felt like crying--and all I could say to him was I am SOOOO sorry. I don’t know about caring for a dog with these maintenance issues. A month later, it’s growing back but it is still short and it’s cold and he has stuff no one really wants to see that his coat covered up. Live and learn.
• I always say I don't like kids, but at the library last week I realized, I like individual kids (as long as they don’t stay too long), just not mobs of them that I don't know. The little voices that talk to the librarians are hilarious. It’s kind of like an ongoing Art Linkletter’s Kids say the Darndest Things.
• Speaking of the Library…I have been culling the children’s books—removing anything that hasn’t gone out in two years. It has been a wee bit disappointing that most of the books I pull have people of color on the covers. This isn’t always true…last week I came across a patriotic one that hadn’t been out in ages.
• And Speaking of the Library Part II, I chaired my first meeting of the Friends of the Weaverville Library Board. I was so pleased to remember to take the wooden mallet I had made in a wood turning class. It’s gone mostly unused since I made it and it allowed me to mask my lack of knowledge of Robert’s Rules of Order.
• If you are in a neighborhood with dogs, don’t throw out 5 pounds of flour into your backyard. The dogs will eat it…or maybe it’s just my dogs. By now they are mostly eating leaves with a sprinkling of flour.
• I was at CVS recently stocking up for my upcoming trip and noticed they have Cherry flavored Pepto Bismol! When I need Pepto, do I really want something with fake cherry flavoring???
• In response to my issue with saying No, Ginger sent me a button I can push that says No! no! nooooo! in lots of different voices. It makes me laugh—and it makes the dogs leave the room.
• Laurie came to visit for Christmas. It was fun—it made Christmas feel different. We didn’t do too much Christmas stuff but we did get to sleuth. I s’pose this is kinda hush hush but we were instructed to take pictures of the homes of some folks who are in trouble with the State of Maine. I had this weird sensation they might come out and hurt us, but they aren’t those kinds of bad guys.
Africa Ho!
I am going to South Africa (and Botswana and Zambia and Zimbabwe) in a couple weeks. Wow. I have to keep saying it to make it real. I am watching me in my process and it is so predictable. It all feels really big and I have to break it down into little bits and pieces. Getting from one bit to another piece is not always a smooth transition. And then of course, all those projects on my To Do list for months feel like they need to be done before I can go. Things are a little all over the place these days. Frustration with the travel agent hasn’t helped but that relationship is just about finished so I can look forward with enthusiasm.
Lions and well, no not tigers and then again no bears either but…heck, lots of other things! Going through my camera stuff, I came across a memory card for my older camera that is 512mb. Really? I just bought one that is 16gb and could have gotten a bigger one! Looking at my luggage I wonder if I have exactly the piece I need. Of course, I do, but it doesn’t seem exactly right and I won’t be buying anything else.
One of the luggage conundrums has to do with “light aircraft” travel which is how one gets to places where one might see the aforementioned lions and lots of other things. It is hard for me who has never done this before to picture where these itty bitty bags that we are restricted to go (though there are actually pictures in the paperwork, I just noticed). And thank heavens I don’t weigh more than 220 lbs. or I would need special permission to board the plane! I just finished “Whatever you do, don’t run!” which is a memoir written by a safari guide in Botswana and South Africa (Have I read all the books recommended by the organization I will be traveling with? No, but this fluff? Gobbled it up!), and the writer wrote about a load of clients that almost crashed because they had brought more weight than they were allowed. It says in my paperwork that the limits are really plenty when you consider that most camps have plenty of “basic toilet amenities.” Hmm—what does that mean?!? And I can save some space as I don’t own a track suit (on their recommended packing list…) and don’t plan on buying one.
And so the ongoing conversation with myself will continue like this until I am there and otherwise distracted. Aren’t you glad you don’t live in my head? More on the return.
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Note: The following may be a repeat, but obviously I don’t care. It seemed to be appropriate and I like it.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
